who doesn't love a feminist rant?

i’m still really pissed off with joey barton

hearing someone use “joey barton” and “wise” in the same sentence today reminded me of this.

remember that time JB went on question time and annoyed a load of people? no? its fine, here’s what happened.

“all you represent to me is the best of a bad bunch. if i’m somewhere and there was four really ugly girls i’m thinking well, she’s not the worst, because that’s all you are to us, that’s all you are.”

a pretty good gauge of public opinion is to have a look at the comments people posted once the footage went onto youtube.


firstly, i’m absolutely thrilled to see someone using the word “butthurt” in 2014. i thought it was dead and buried in the same shallow grave as “douchebag” and the cheeky girls. so, the general consensus seems to be that some people cant really get a handle on why this has antagonised so many viewers. no worries, i’m here to help.

i don’t think that what joey barton said is ‘sexist’ because it doesn’t directly favour one gender over the other. what it is, is just downright offensive to women. he’s got a point, the current political system we have in the UK is failing most of us and some people believe that UKIP are the only tolerable option. but what he’s done in the second part of that statement is create an analogy in which the uselessness of our mainstream political parties is represented by unfuckable women.

let that marinate for a bit.

as a woman that joey barton probably wouldn’t find attractive i resent being compared to the political entities that he describes as fruitless and ineffectual. his analogy works on the basis that the primary function of mainstream political parties is to create positive changes in society, which they are not doing because of corruption, apathy and incompetence, turning UKIP into the only seemingly acceptable option. in order to put this in terms that question time viewers would understand, he mirrored it in a scenario in which the primary function of a group of women is to provide him with a tantalising buffet of places he could stick his willy, which they are not doing because none of them meet his standards of physical beauty, turning the member of the group who has slightly bigger boobs into the only seemingly acceptable option. he pretty much condemned any woman he wouldn’t want to seep with as meaningless. since JB does have a fair few political views that i agree with and a platform from which he speaks to a section of society that feminism rarely reaches, it was a pretty crushing disappointment for me.


this was back in may. a lot of people thought it made him look like a gigantic twat and along with many others i sent in the standard “you’re a dick” tweet. doing things like that gives me the same satisfaction as donating a tenner to oxfam every now and again. just doing my bit. as a result of everyone’s combined twitter donations i was expecting the usual insincere celebrity apology but joey barton turned out to be a unique snowflake among dispensers of fake atonement. much of his apology in the immediate aftermath came across as even more insulting than the thing he was actually apologising for. what was it jesus said? we all say stupid stuff at times but its what we do afterwards that determines how much of a shit stain we actually are.


JB’s ‘apology’ started off as suggesting that his slip up was down to the “very nerve wrecking experience” he’d just been a part of. that’s cool joey, thinking about it you were probably under a lot of pressure. just say you’re sorry mate and you’ll be fine.


ah.. in this next one joe it looks like you’re having a right old laugh at some of the offended reactions to your appearance. i know you’re #newtothis but if you genuinely feel like you #shouldhaveleftit then you should probably #saysorry.

suck up joey

okay, i know there were a few people who would follow you to mordor and back, but don’t retweet a whole bunch of them in quick succession right after the incident. kinda gives the impression that you’re not entirely confident that what you said was 100% kosher. also, feel free to note the apparent maleness of barton’s human twitter shield. it always amuses me when men say “nope. no way, that definitely wasn’t offensive to women.”

no it wasnt

oh no, no, no joey, don’t go down that road! “footballer” is a changeable occupation, “woman” is not.


ooh, but what’s this? it’s a tweet from a woman! a real live female bodied person! it’s important to note that this lady-human’s tweet is brought to you by a member of ‘women defy UKIP’, a group i do genuinely love, which aims to draw attention to the shitty attitude UKIP have towards women. it has to be said however, that it is beneficial for this group to have joey barton on side because he is of course anti-UKIP with a massive platform. even if this person from ‘women defy UKIP’ honestly didn’t feel any twinges of pain during question time, that’s fine, it’s joey barton’s retweet it of it that i have to take issue with. it gave me the unsettling feeling that he thought this statement from a women’s group somehow protected him and negated him from any wrong doing. as if women operate as a single unit, each with the same feelings, and this tweet is conclusive proof that the women-folk are totally fine with it. im sure some were. MOST WERE NOT.

well. lets hope the ugly girls of the UK manage to scrape back enough self-esteem to make it out of bed. we’ve got enough to deal with without being told on national telly that we’ll never pull joey barton until we find some uglier mates.



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This entry was posted on June 30, 2014 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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